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2024 Retrospective Blog Post

Writer's picture: Jen HughesJen Hughes
Feb 136 min read

2024 was very rocky for me. Years of chronic burnout has weighed down onto me and I hit breaking point. I spent a lot of time feeling very demotivated and exhausted, but I had a lot of personal growth too. I’m still processing everything and I’ll probably write more about it in the future. I hit a breaking point with my medications and finally came to terms with the fact that my mood stabilisers weren’t working for me. I have said multiple times in the past that I have bipolar disorder. In fact, my chapbook ‘Keep On Spinning’ was partially about that. However, it’s likely that most of what I’ve been going through has been my autism. Recovery and figuring out why every ring of my Saturn will be part of my goals this year.


I sadly hadn’t made as much progress with my writing projects as I had hoped. I had made a solid start on redrafting my debut novel but I ran out of steam almost half way through. However, I’m proud of what I have so far and I am in a better place to continue on this year as I’m recovering. I’m putting my short story collection on hold, but I’m going to try and send some of my prose portfolio for publication.


But as hard a time as I’ve had, there’s also been some good things that have happened to, which I’ll discuss in more detail as we go.

 

Words and Music

Words and Music has a stable year this year. The attendance was modest in number, but everyone who came had some fun. It was good to catch up with old friends and meet new ones. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone next year!


Because MILK is moving to Cathcart Road, so are we! Their new venue is bigger with a larger kitchen, so is a lot better for their workshops and catering. You can find them here.


December and this January’s Words and Music was cancelled last minute due to my poor health.I couldn’t tell people on social media because I couldn’t even cope with looking at it, let alone trying to explain what was wrong with me. I apologise for the inconvenience this caused. We started in our new location in February 3rd 2025.

 

Poetry




Congratulations to 2024's Scottish Slam Champion Gordon Powrie! I've known him for years and watched him do really well at slams. It was great to see him get the championship he deserved. He's a great performer and poet.

As for me, I had hoped to spend more time road testing poems from the collection I’m working on, but I hadn’t managed the slams or open mics I had hoped for. I performed at Versaye! International Women’s Day in March and in April, but sadly couldn’t make any others. I hope I can change that next year.However, I did make Clusterfuck’s return in August which I was really pleased about. The night’s theme was Rehash Old Gash, where the performers were tasked to experimentally rewrite earlier performed material. This was a task I threw myself into. I took a poem I wrote and performed while I was in university and replaced all the words with its antonyms. That was a nerve-wracking experience because that poem isn’t something I’m proud of and I’m glad I gave it context before reading it. Hope that I can be back at Clusterfuck’s next night, whenever it happens.


When last Fringe, I burned myself out for six months, I managed to pace myself better. I met some cool friends and performed at some open mics. Two were hosted by Ross McFarlane (Lock In Poetry Slam) and three were hosted by Tom Juniper (Screech). I overcame some pretty bad period pains on two of those gigs which I was pleased about. I struggle a great deal with public transport still, so going to gigs outside of Glasgow are a big step for me. Artist Invi Brenna added some doodles of my poems to her live drawing of the night, which was an incredible boost. They gave me a drawing of my poem The Rover (which appears in Keep on Spinning)

 

I hope to be back at these nights if I can, but I’ll let you know nearer the time. The highlight of the Fringe was Screech’s final night, which was a memorial to poet Jackie Hagan. I found it a profoundly spiritual experience. I swore she was in the room, helping me feel welcome from the other side. I was honoured to have two of my poems, ‘Growing Pains’ and ‘Mama Sparrow’ published alongside her in this year’s Morecambe Fringe Anthology. I was sad that I never got to know her when she was alive, as she seemed like a remarkable and loveable woman. May she rest in power.

 

 

100 Rejections Challenge

Got submission numbers up slightly but I made the mistake of sending stuff for publishing when I was feeling like a zombie. I accidentally sent the wrong covering letter to a very prominent literary magazine and the editor was not impressed. I apologized profusely but I’m not sure if she’s forgiven me for it. It’s hard to gauge tone in emails, so might have been snickering sarcasm rather than outright outrage. Hopefully it’s the former. In any case, it knocked my confidence a lot. I literally want to crawl into a hole and hide forever! I sincerely hope that she will have forgotten this incident by the time I try submitting my short stories again.


Some places want your submissions in a specific format which I had largely disregarded because I was too tired. So I can understand why I may have been rejected, even if I felt my stories were a good fit for their magazine. I’ll need to do better next year.


To be fair also, the magazines I submit to have high rejection rates. Great for the challenge, but not great for my fragile ego. I hope to try submitting more of my poems and short stories when I’ve gotten a bit more confidence.

 

Work At The Music Shop


I’ve been continuing to make up the collages. I’ve been told they’re still selling well, so I’m keeping at it. I’m trying to be a bit more experimental. For example, I started using some larger pieces of paper instead of more intricate smaller pieces. I’m particularly proud of the ones I made on Valentine’s Day. The one where I created a lesbian wedding (2nd above) is my personal favourite.


The first window I had designed!
The first window I had designed!

I drew my first window display in March using glass markers. I worked super hard on it, wearing my body down and letting myself use it as a canvas. I drew a female flamenco dancer as it was a Spanish music themed display. Using a reference photo for the pose, I drew her in my own style with flowing long hair. The tagline that my manager came up with was ‘Cha Cha Changes’, so I felt Aladdin Zane makeup was appropriate for my dancer.


Something I realized this year was that I was stuck in the scrapbooking style of collage. That’s not a bad thing but I want to be able to develop more as an artist. During this time, I tried creating what I called colour stories. I split my snippings into hot colours, cold colours and monochrome. I played around with these for fun but I was still using a collage style. I moved on to trying creating narratives through the collages. However, as my depressive slump got worse in November, I found it hard to like the pieces I created. In those moments I can create ‘puzzle collages’ stitching album covers and arranging them into a gallery or mosaic. They don’t require much creative flourish, which I was running low on in early November. At one point, I found my creative output so uninspired that I was close to tears.


I needed to take time off of work during December, but I’m back at work. After spending time on two separate window displays, I’m finally getting back to collaging. At the moment, the goal is to get over my perfectionism and make something. If I make something, I can keep improving the next one and the next one.


My photos of my collages are terrible, and really the only people who can get better ones are the people who bought them. I only get photos for my own record to remind myself that I made something worth feeling proud of.






 

In 2025, I’ll be working on myself. I’ve got things to discover about myself. Although it’s not going to be easy, I’m looking forward to the good things that will come from it. I hope to wrap up my current projects like my poetry collection, short story collection among other things. My poetry collection is assembled onto a document, ready to be submitted to proof readers and then onto publishers. As for my other projects, only time will tell.


I’ve started the year at the bottom. I’m in a place where I don’t feel particularly creative. For those who know me, they know my creativity has always been a strength of mine so not having it is scary. But all I can do is try and factor in getting that back in my recovery. It’s a core part of who I am, so I’m not going to lose it forever. Or at least that’s what I’m going to have to keep reminding myself.




Songs I Tasted to This Year While Doing Projects:




 
 
 

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