Lancelot (Flash Fiction)

“Hey beautiful” I hear his soothing  voice, half asleep

My eyelids flutter open to behold him. He’s like a marble warrior- svelte, handsome, manly… His blonde curls have a dashing, windswept look. I can’t quite believe my luck. We met at a bar last night, where we talked about our work and family. He’s a fireman. He told me about a time he saved a cat from a burning building. I swooned. Then, we danced the night away.

“Hey.” I whisper, nuzzling closer into his broad chest.

He takes me into his arms and kisses me. “Last night was pretty good, huh?”

My mind flashes back to when he came back to mines. The passionately barbaric lovemaking that went on until early morning. How he took control! He’s so strong, well-endowed… “Yeah, it was pretty good.”

He asks if he can use the loo. I nod. He throws the covers off of him, shoves on some boxers and walks to my bathroom. I lie down, still not quite believing my luck. How can a girl like me pull an Adonis like him?

Then I hear a bloodcurdling screech coming from my bathroom. I rush out, forgetting to put on my clothes. I pound on the door. I hear unintelligible crying from behind the door. “Sean let me in!”

The door unbolts. I swing it open and I see him cowering, staring fearfully at the bathtub. I peer into the tub and see a small spider resembling an inkblot.

“Kill it Gwen! Quick! Kill it!” he sobs.

I look at it for a moment, wearily. It looks totally confused. I look back at Sean, who is curled in the fetal position in the furthest corner of the bathroom.

“It’s probably more scared of you that you are of it…” I suggest.

“IT’S GIVING ME THE EVILS! IT’S GOING TO KILL ME!” he squeals. “SAVE ME!”

I sigh. “I’ll put it out the window…”

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